Dog Journal – Entry 144: Total Chaos

vacuum-2116241_640I don’t like it when certain things happen, like when bathtime rolls around, or when some stranger bangs on the door, and especially when we run out of treats. But such things do happen and there’s nothing I can bark about it.

But one thing that just bothers me and keeps right on bothering me all the day long is when the house is a total mess. And it wasn’t like there was any warning about it. One morning everything was totally cool, and then my pal got home and frooom! Chairs are in the bathroom, the table’s outside, the rug is on the fence and things are utterly out of order.

For me, it started out with me waking up and the floor was all cold and wet. There’s pretty much no chance of you even getting to your favorite spot, and if you could, it’s usually pretty uncomfortable and probably won’t stay put for very long when your pal figures out something is wrong. And even after things get back to normal, you never can find your favorite spot again.

I even ran into a problem where I wasn’t allowed in places I regularly go, like when I was banished from the just about everywhere except for the bathroom. It wasn’t even bathtime, but I totally got locked in there without any toys and I was all by myself. Boring forever. All I could do was sit there and listen to all the ruckus as my pal turned the place inside out.

And then it got worse…I got to thinking, which can be dangerous under certain circumstances, and maybe my bestest buddy in the whole world had locked me up just so he could find my secret stash of bones I’d hidden under the… Nope, you’re not gonna trick me into telling you where it is. No one has ever figured it out and no one will.

But getting back to the problem at paw, even your food is in the wrong place. Up on the counter where you can’t even eat it, but if you’re lucky, it gets tossed outside along with you, perhaps just to get you out of the way for a bit. Which is fine with me, especially when things are so chaotic inside.

And if it all get’s super out of whack, then you gotta go sleep somewhere else. Which I’m all for if it’s a fun place for all four paws, but that wasn’t the situation in my case. We got to load up the important stuff, like me and my food and a blanket, so it was like we were going to the park or something. But we didn’t.

Nope, instead of the park or someplace fun, we ended up in some room that totally had all sorts of smells, so many I couldn’t count, and they wouldn’t let me check any of them out. I had to sleep in my little house that isn’t even big enough to run around. No jumping on the beds, no inspecting the pillows for fluffiness, no midnight snacks. I sure wish we would have visited somewhere a dog could just hang out and be a dog.

So you see how serious things can get, right down to having to abandon home for a while, when your place gets turned upside down. So take my advice, if your pal comes home and starts tossing the sofa around, duck and cover. And it’s best if you sleep right through the whole thing.