Dog Journal – Entry 148: Hats Off

list-2828012_640I noticed something the other day, and it was a terrible thing to see. My friend did a thing while he was getting all bundled up to go outside, and he put the thing on his head. Now, I don’t like the thing at all, but it just looks so frightening when he has it on his head. It… it comes alive and bobbles everywhere. And I know, deep down I know, that it is watching me.

So I thought about a few other things around the house that should not be there and added that thing to my list. Pretty much, my list goes like this:

1-The thing in the closet.
2-That thing with the spots that sits on top of the fridge.
42-The springy thingy behind the door.
5-The box that used to sit next to the door because it wasn’t there before but now it’s gone.
5 1/2- That same box is now next to the bed and it won’t leave.
C-The thing that my buddy puts on his head.
8-Things that I do not like other than these things.

It’s not really a long list, but these happen to be the things that I can’t figure out what they are, and I am compelled to bark at them until they go away. Or at least until I stop looking at them or forget about them.

The first thing I always do when I spot one of these things is to alert anyone and everyone including my pal. See, usually he’s quick about getting rid of whatever shouldn’t be there, except for the things on the list. But we’re still working on the doors. Soon though, soon.

Earlier, I spent a while trying to convince my pal to get out from under the thing on his head. I don’t know, what if it’s trying to eat his brains. I think you need those to do things, like remember to pick up food and treats and where the park is. Maybe that’s why he always gets lost though. Might explain a few other things too.

He did get the thing off his head, but it was still laying around, perhaps waiting to do more things. But conveniently, he left it unprotected on the sofa. Oh yes, like other things that have come up missing in times past, the thing also disappeared without a trace.

I’m to scaredy dog. I worked it well and held my own, and by the end, the thing was more scared of me than I am of the vacuum. So it’s gone now. After a good woop’n, I stuffed it under the sofa with the other things that don’t belong around here.

What! Wouldn’t you guess it. My pal just showed up early from work… and he’s got another one of those things on his head again! Seriously, what am I gonna do with this guy?