Dog Journal – Entry 152: Up There

housefly-155460_640There was a thing at the park today which got me to thinking about something. You see, I don’t really like things that fly or float around. It seems pretty simple to me: I cannot fly, therefore I do not like things that fly. It’s not that I’m scared of them or anything. Well, maybe they do freak me out a little. Perhaps it’s the mysteriousness of them or something.

You see, at the park today, there was a buzzy thingy floating around in the air. It was watching me, I could feel it in my tail. Then it started teasing me and floating around me and just being a bother. It was like it was mocking me for not being able to catch it too. It just stayed up there in the air and made obnoxious sounds.

So I asked a pal about them, and she told me her cat got one of them one time. Like a ninja cat, it totally took that buzzy thing out in a flash. It wasn’t for eating though. Apparently they taste like the television remote control. So maybe I’m better off not catching one for myself.

But there is one thing I have caught that I sort of regret.  Yes, the balloons. It was always the balloons right from the beginning. Especially the ones that bop around on the ground. It’s so much fun to just rush right over to them and bite them as hard as I can, that even though I know what’s going to happen, I can not resist. And when you catch it, then comes the scary part. You see, that’s when the balloon disappears with a loud pop noise. They’re really fun to chase around, but super surprising when you do catch them.

Flies. I do not like flies. They are not fun. Luckily when it’s nice and cold, all the flies go away. Perhaps it should stay cold all the time. I need to bark with somebody about this. Maybe there’s a button someone could press or something? But not too cold though. I don’t want my paws to freeze at the park again.

A thoughtful mention… birds are cool and all, and if you’ve ever caught a hold of one’s tail, you might just grab a bird leaf. Do not eat the bird leaf. It makes your mouth feel funny and your pal will see it and accuse you of chewing on the sofa again.