Dog Journal – Entry 153: Begging The Best

bernese-mountain-dog-114780_640I find that we pups have a serious advantage when it comes to getting our way. It’s all in the secret power of begging. Oh yes, the dreaded begging. Few humans can resist when done perfectly, but it takes time to master the timing and technique.

Priority one: Food

The food stuffs is the most commonly begged for thingy. In fact, I’m actually thinking about having a little snack right now, but no one is eating. But if I wait long enough, the opportunity will present itself.

So I consider the first thing I’m gonna have to do. It’s all about getting that paw on the lap just right so they have to look into your eyes. This is serious now, you do have to get that paw just right so that you can also lay your face right on top of it and their leg at the same time. Do not paw excessively though, or you’ll end up getting the attitude and the begging won’t work anymore.

From the sweetest spot you can find, it’s time to focus on looking as sad as you possibly can. Think of it as if you can’t possibly go on without having whatever it is that they’re having. It helps if you make the tiny whimpers, but don’t get too loud or it won’t work. Gotta be the quiet ones, just enough to let them know how much you’re suffering without a nibble of their snack.

It’s important to note that timing is essential… zero in on them when they’re already in a good mood. Don’t try to do the thing when they’re sleepy or something or you’ll just get them mad at you.

Primarily most pups focus on begging for food, but you may also need to get your way sometimes. Often times I’ve found myself working my buddy over trying to get him to take me to the park. It’s a serious negotiations battle, but if you work the sweet, sweet look and the “super-sad if I don’t go” attitude, you can get your way most times.

What about another situation that few pups know how escape? The dredded bathtime. You seriously need to work on the face that lets your pal know that you can’t possibly take a bath or it’s the end for sure. You might mention the super important story about how wild dogs of the australian outback never take baths and they’re doing just fine.

Remember, always do the face. The sweetest face. No normal human can possibly resist the face, especially when the face is on a dog.