It had all come down to who was going to get the bone. I really wanted it, but both Buck and Izzy wanted it too. And no matter who wanted it more, the others were always one up. I wanted it super bad, but Izzy wanted it super duper bad, and Buck just wanted it really good. And then it was really really good, and mega ultra and so on from there.
This bout had gone on for a while before any moves were made. The first wrestling match had ended with the bone being lost for a while, but it turned out that we’d just kicked it under the sofa at some point. So now that we’d relocated it again, things had turned to a far more civilized negotiation situation.
“You can’t possibly want it more than me,” Izzy ruffed, pawing at the edge of the sofa.
“No, I don’t just want it… I has to have it,” Buck rang back.
“Yeah, but I must have it or else…” I barked, swatting at Izzy’s swiping paws.
There was to be no sneaky business in this matter. We were going to settle this like civilized puppers. So we argued a lot more about who it was that had to have the bone the most. Who really needed it? Well, of course that would be me. The problem is convincing these other pups that I truly was the one.
And when the convincing wasn’t enough, I knew I had to put a clever spin on my approach. What I needed was a distraction. Or at least something that they thought was a distraction. Okay, so I had to trick them.
“No way!” I barked and stared off into the dim hallway. “I cannot believe it!”
“Wh-what is it?” Buck barked, spinning around.
“You don’t see it?” I whispered, and then yelped, “DUCK!”
“There’s no duck over there,” Izzy woofed squinting into the hallway, “those birds are only indigenous to locations with an adequate water source.”
Despite the bizarre report by Izzy, I knew their attention was now somewhere else. But I had to make sure it was secure.
“Well, it had the feathers… maybe a gorilla?” I thought of something quick.
“Oh, gorillas eat puppers…right?” Buck bellowed.
“No, no, no…” Izzy shook his tail. “They eat the… uhm, well I…”
“Oh, I just saw it peek out of the bedroom!” I ruffed and ducked down. Did I mention I’m an excellent actor.
“Well that’s unacceptable!” Izzy ruffed and hopped over Buck. “Whatever is here must go!”
“Okay, just as long as I don’t get eaten,” Buck waddled after, “Christy will be upset if I ever got eaten by a gorilla that doesn’t even eat puppers.”
“Wouldn’t you be upset too?” I wondered.
“Naw, I don’t think I’d have time to be upset… you know, getting eaten and all can be very distracting,” Buck barked with a very serious look in his eyes.
And then I was all alone with the bone. My plot was super successful. Now all I had to do was claim the bone for myself. This was easily done, my small paws slid easily under the sofa and it was mine… all mine!
Well, at least I thought it was. I had been watched the whole time. Someone else had wanted the bone even more than I did. Someone far more clever than I… the old man. It was in my grasp too, I could feel it, taste it. But I will not rest until I reclaim what is rightfully mine!
Jason Duron is a short story writer and author of several fiction stories. Curious and lovable as dogs can be, the Adventures of Rocky, Nixi, and Dante give you a chance to see daily life from a “dog’s eye view” and share in their thoughts. Please enjoy, and we hope that you’ll feel free to comment and give us insight into your dog’s very own adventures.